My broken cart

So I went grocery shopping the other day. Yes I went to Wal-Mart, where else would I go. 90 cent bread…that’s how I roll. Anyway, I noticed something as I was pushing my cart around the store, something that seems to happen to me every time I get a cart. I don’t know about the rest of you, but it seems that whenever I get a cart there is always something wrong with it. Out of the hundreds and hundreds of carts Wal-Mart has I have never gotten one that didn’t have something wrong with it. This last time I went there was without a doubt the worst. I never would have imagined the problems a faulty cart could have caused. And so it begins…the cart I got had a wheel on it that would get stuck sideways at some points. Now you might think that wouldn’t be much of a problem, but if a wheel is stuck sideways that means that the cart will turn every time it happens. And once again normally this wouldn’t be a problem, but what happens when there is someone standing or walking to your side…Who would have thought getting a cart slammed into the side of your foot would piss someone off so much. He was seriously mad, he started yelling and screaming at me to watch where I’m going and all that. I even explained to him that the wheel got stuck and it wasn’t my fault. I guess I was wrong and it was completely my fault, at least according to him. He finally stopped yelling at me and left, except now I was pissed off. I just got verbally assaulted by someone in the middle of Wal-Mart, I was not about to just let this go. So I started to follow this guy around and would periodically just slam my cart into his. He had a full cart too so every time I got to hit it; stuff would fall off of the top. I know, very immature, well I don’t care this A$$hole deserved it. I did finally stop though considering I was getting tired and wanted to go home. But Wal-Mart has a sense of humor cause guess who pulled up behind me in line at the checkout, oh yes it was him. And as they say in wrestling “It was on”…It was on like Donkey Kong. He was still rather pissed, as was I, but at this point I think we were both so tired that we just didn’t care anymore. I did get one last jab at him though. You know the little black divider bar that you put between your stuff and the other persons? Well, let’s just say that when he wasn’t paying attention I put like 10 things of tic-tacs on his side of the bar and since he had so much stuff, I don’t think ever noticed. I got out of there as soon as possible, so he may have eventually noticed, but I like to think that he didn’t. I know what you’re thinking; that I am a badass…well it is true.:) It’s not like I could have punched him in the face or anything, so I issued a more appropriate retaliation instead. Don’t judge me…it’s what I do.

My awesome discovery

Possibly the greatest thing that has happened to me out here in Arizona just happened a few minutes ago. I was surfing the web for, well....places in which I can get my drink on in Tempe. And while I was doing this I remembered seeing a bar right down the road from my school named "Hail Mary's". My dad knows what bar Im talking about.(we used it as a way to remember where our hotel was) Well I looked it up on the internet and it just so happens that it is a Sports bar and not only that, but a "Cleveland Browns" backer bar. They show all of the Browns games on television there. I am so excited right now, I thought I was going to have to deal with the Southwestern teams everywhere, but it seems that someone up there felt that they owed me one:). Anyway, just thought I would share. BROWNS 4 LIFE!!!

My Hallucination

The worst has happened…my greatest fear has just been realized. I am in Arizona, the temperature right now is 103 degrees and the air conditioner has just broken. As I right this I am pretty sure that I am starting to see hallucinations. I’m pretty sure the care-bears were here just a little bit ago and apparently my walls are now painted neon orange. I am going to assume that the heat is starting to get to me. I am seriously considering sleeping in the bathtub filled with ice cold water…yeah right, ice cold water in Arizona…HA!!! This definitely proves that the air conditioner is without a doubt the best invention ever made! I don’t know how anyone could survive down here without one. Since mine broke, I am pretty sure that a little part of me died as well. Have you ever been so hot that you just don’t want to move, but at the same time you just can’t get comfortable no matter what you try? Well that is my situation at the moment, not to gross you all out, but I think my body just ran out of sweat. And seeing as I haven’t really moved for a while, lets just say I think my sheets are ruined. Well, It looks like I have to go, the care-bears are back and they look pissed.

My Bragging Rights

So…my first 5 weeks of class is over along with one of my classes ending. Now I am not usually one to brag, but lets just say that I kicked this classes A$$. In the Intro to Game Design class, which is the one I’m talking about, I got a 99% as my final grade. Oh yes, it’s true, I got an “A” in school… “I’d like to thank the Academy, being that this was my best performance of B.S. in my life”. Well not all of it was bullshit, but whenever I could throw in that little extra to make it look like I knew what I was talking about, I did and it apparently paid off. I was actually kind of upset about the fact that I got a 99% instead of a 100%. I had gotten 100% on every assignment I had done in the class until the last day. We had a final project which happened to be a group project, which I have always had problems working in groups. I knew it was going to ruin my perfect score, but there was nothing that could be done. I guess I will just have to make do with my 99%...GOSH!!! I am also receiving an “A” in my college success class and I completely tested out of my Math and English classes. So take that 82 IQ…I spit on you. Maybe all this reading has raised it a few points to where I’m not actually considered mentally challenged anymore. This will probably be the last time I get to boast like this since my next class is a drawing class. And I think everyone knows how “good” of an artist I am. If you don’t, let me make it clear as to my abilities in the Arts. Just look at this picture and see if you can even guess what it’s supposed to be…

Give up…the answer was a Cow, that’s right…a Cow. Now if you could stop laughing at my awesome drawing abilities we can get back to it. I SAID STOP MAKING FUN OF MY COW!!! He never did anything to you guys, poor cow…I don’t even know how he stands with those skinny legs. So yeah, this drawing class is going to open a can of whoop ass on me and it is not going to be pretty. But I’ll deal with it, I always do and I’ll come out the other side victorious once again. If I don’t, then I guess I will just have to blackmail a “certain” teacher that I know to make them give me a better grade. Hey…don’t judge me, I do what I have to do to get the job done. I know, your going to judge me anyway. Well you know what I have to say to that…Screw You! And to add insult to injury, I found out that while you guys are going to be freezing you’re asses off this winter, I will probably be swimming in the 70 degree temperatures out here. Oh yeah, whatcha gonna do about that one. Crap, I just realized I’ll be coming home for a while this winter…touché Ohio…touché.

My dating disaster

This is going to come as a surprise to most, hell, it was a surprise to me even. But I had a date last night. No joke. Now I know your wondering…how the hell did that happen. I know, I asked myself the same question about 50 times. As most of you know, well at least my friends know, that I am absolutely terrified of asking girls out…even if I am intoxicated, I just can’t seem to do it. Well, it would seem that luck was on my side this time since I did not have to ask her out, she asked me instead. Which a lot of guys would now make fun of me for being such a wuss, but oh well, I got a date out of it so suck on it. Anyway…So it turns out this girl is actually a professor at the school…I keep forgetting that I am 22 years old now…so this was really strange at first. But then I remembered that I was and it was cool. Now I know what your thinking…Jason has a date with some old college professor and that’s gross…WRONG. First of all she is only 25, so that’s only 3 years older than me. Secondly, and not to sound crude, But she was for lack of a better word…Hot as hell. There was really nothing “teacher” looking about this girl. And no she didn’t teach any game design classes, she was one of the professors for The Interior Design program. Which from what I’ve seen might as well be a modeling agency since it is practically all girls and they are almost all gorgeous. So anyway, back to the whole date thing. Why this girl asked me out in the first place is still a mystery to me, but at that point I didn’t care.
So we went out last night. Had some dinner, saw a movie, had some drinks. The DDM date as I call it…simple, but generally effective I hear. I wish I could say that it worked for me and we had an awesome time, but if it was like that, I probably wouldn’t be writing this right now…if you catch my drift. It was a horrible date, but the night wasn’t actually that bad for me. And it wasn’t me that screwed it up, she was just a bitch. See here in Phoenix there is a mall where you can drink, have dinner, and then watch a movie all in the same general area. We went to a place called “Gameworks”, her choice by the way, and it is a restaurant, a bar, and it has a bunch of arcade games and such. It’s a pretty cool place generally…unless you happened to go there with her. Lets just say that she can’t hold her alcohol very well. After like one martini she was pretty much completely out of it. Now most guys would be saying “Jackpot” right about now, but I am apparently not one of those guys, Who knew? She is also not a very “good” drunk. So after watching her push through a crowd, shove a kid off of the “Dance Dance Revolution” game and then began to drunkenly stomp around on the mat…I absolutely lost it. I haven’t laughed that hard in my entire life. And after a while pretty much the whole place was watching her and laughing right along with me. I just ignored her for a little while after that and went to sit at the bar. Later she headed back over to me except now she had another guy with her. I knew how this was gonna go and I honestly didn’t care. She said his name was brett and that he was goona give her a ride home. Now slightly laughing about the new situation, I told her goodnight and Brett good luck and I proceeded to walk away. Little did she know that I had told the bartender and the waitress to put everything on her tab and that she was going to pay for it all when she came back over. I was honestly quite proud of myself for that little maneuver. So was it a bad date…Hell yeah, but was it a good night…yes it was. I just can’t wait to see her on Monday and maybe remind her of some of the events that took place…That is going to be awesome.
I really don’t know how this shit happens to me. There has to be something about this town cause things like this never happened to me back in Athens. I don’t know, at least they make for interesting stories. Depending on whether or not I get to talk to this girl again, there may be another story to follow…I’ll keep you posted.