My Apartment Wars

So I went to see the new Terminator movie with a friend a few days ago and it was Awesome!!! What wasn't awesome was what I found when I arrived back home. My other two roommates had a friend over to the apartment and apparently they decided to leave him there by himself for a few minutes, well that was just enough time apparently to mess around in my room. Now I don't know this guy, I had never seen him before that day and didn't even talk to him then so why he decided to start messing with my room is beyond me. He didn't do much, but what he did was pretty weird and could have a lasting effect since it was everywhere. For some reason, he took a cup of sugar and poured it all over my bed, blanket, and even some on my laptop. No idea why this dumbass would do this since, like I said, I had never even met him before. I originally thought that it was one of my other roommates, but they informed me that it was their friend. All of that sugar is also bound to attract some insects to the room which I am not so happy about and even though I vacuumed it doesn't seem to be stopping the bugs really. So for lack of a better phrase...It is on like Donkey Kong and I don't care if my other roommates didn't do it, they brought him to the house and so they shall pay. And I swear if I ever see that other kid again, he will wish that he never f***** with me, that I promise...

Let the War begin...

My Refusal

I ran into a former boss the other day while walking around the mall. Now let me remind everyone that I hated this person and she was the main reason that I quit this job since she was the one who wouldn’t give me the time off to go to my brothers wedding. So yeah, you could say I hated this woman. One of the regrets I had about quitting that job though is that I was so nice about it, I may not have said that I was, but I didn’t want to look like a total wuss. I never thought I would get to wrong that mistake, but low and behold I was given a second chance at being an asshole to this awful woman. So as I walked by her she actually stopped me and started talking to me, something I didn’t quite expect because she hated me as well. Apparently though, she thought that I made a decent employee because she started talking about her new manager job that she had gotten and that she was still looking to hire some new people. She told me that she would give me a supervisor job to start out with and everything. And upon hearing the words, “What do you say” from her I could only think of one response to give her…”You can take that job and”…what comes next people……”and shove it up your ass”. Cliché…yes; childish…of course; but I have never felt so good in a LONG LONG time. As I walked away though I realized that I still wasn’t satisfied and so I proceeded to do something else. This particular thing was just downright rude and it felt fantastic. Once again I won’t go into details because, well…I just shouldn’t, but let’s just say that her and her daughter that was with her had just gotten some ice cream and only one of them got to take theirs’ home. Ok, so there are only a couple different things I could have done here so I’ll just let your mind wonder as to what I did with the ice cream and who I did it to exactly.

I’m an asshole…I know this…and I'm ok with it :)

My Battle with the Sun

For about 4 or 5 months out of the year here in Arizona I am locked into an epic battle that can only be won by time itself. It starts in April and doesn’t cease until September and the fight is generally pretty one sided. My enemy, you might be wondering…Mother Nature, and man is she a real witch with a capital ‘B’. Some of you might not understand what I am talking about and that makes perfect sense knowing that you rarely have to deal with temperatures over 90 ish. Me, on the other hand, I get bitch slapped by these temperatures every day for almost half the year. I try to fight it, but there just isn’t much that I can do, especially when my roommates like to keep turning off the air conditioning. It gets up to 100 degrees by Noon as of late and these dumbasses keep turning off the air. I swear if they keep doing it I will make them pay…oh yes, they will pay…

I’m also convinced that the sun has some sort of personal vendetta against me and my poor pale skin. It's me versus the Sun and most of my players seem to be injured. I’m not sure how this happened, but I got sunburned at the beginning of the past week. Now most of you are probably saying, “Big deal, you always get sunburned easily”, but this is different. I was never outside for more than 30 minutes at a time and generally no more than that a day over the past week. I was burnt on Sunday, but that was gone by Monday morning so it wasn’t that. Yet on Tuesday morning I woke up and was redder than an albinos eye. That’s right…an albinos eye. I thought back over what I did the day before and if I remember correctly it was spent almost entirely inside watching movies and playing games, I was feeling lazy…don’t judge me. So I have no idea how I got so burnt. My face, my arms, my back…it was freakin weird. Have you ever experienced the shock and pain of taking a hot shower when you have a sunburn, it’s not fun. Like I said I was unaware that I was so burnt so I stumbled into the bathroom in the morning to take a shower and right when that water hit me I screamed so loud and freaked out causing me to slip and fall as I tried to shut off the water. Now, not only was I laying on the floor in the shower getting pelted with hot water by the crazy powerful showerhead, but I’m also grabbing my head in pain since it got slammed into the shower door on my way down. Needless to say it was a bad morning and a horrible start to my week off of school. Nothing says vacation like red skin and a gash in the head…only normally that stuff is in some way caused by alcohol. So if anyone is keeping score; it’s Sun: 1 Jason: 0 and we are still in the bottom of the first…

My Stories

Now I was try to think of what story I have to tell you guys first since I have some stockpiled due to my lack of blogging over the past few months. I was thinking about going with Tijuana: part Tres, but let’s face it those generally go the same way…I cross the border, I hear lots of Spanish music, I drink, Scooter convinces me to drink more, I get way too drunk, Scooter tells me I am inferior, I drink more, Scooter disappears for a while, I freak out and drink more, Scooter comes back and cross the border back to the states. That is the general series of events that occur in Tijuana so I didn’t think that would be a good one to tell. Although this last time was slightly different in the fact instead of one night, we went down there three nights in a row, holy shit. I survived three nights in Tijuana, I'm pretty sure I could survive the Apocalypse when it comes now...All I'd have to do is give the four horsemen each a shot of Mexico water and boom...Defeated. Anyway, I'm getting slightly off topic. I also thought about telling you guys My Revenge Scheme, but that one ends far worse for the other person than I imagined and I’m not proud of it…..ok, I’m a little proud. Seriously I got the guy to start crying in the middle of a pretty big class and run off only to trip over a chair and knock himself unconscious before he made it out…and then he quit school or so we think. Before you say anything, he deserved every bit of it; I wouldn’t have done what I did unless he deserved it. I know you are all probably wondering what I did to this guy to make him start weeping in the middle of class, well I am not going to tell you, for reasons I will not say. Just imagine what you would to someone in order to completely destroy their spirit and faith and then multiply that by a hundred and that’s what I did. Moral of the story for that guy, don’t F*** with anyone with the last name Winnett, as most of you surely know that is not going to end well. Finally I decided on the story that I would tell you all and I have to warn you, it is graphic, disturbing, and will most likely offend every bone in your body. Ok, here it goes…It all started one day while I was….Oh wow, look at the time, I gotta go. I guess this story is better left untold.

Hahahaha….man it’s good to be back :)