My Food Poisoning

So a couple weeks ago I got a little case of food poisoning and by "little case" I mean an epic catostrophy of over the toilet proportions. Yeah, I just took it to that place and you all are the victims. But seriously food poisoning sucks and this was the first time I had ever had it so as I was in the fetal position on the bathroom floor I was convinved that I was actually slowly dying. If anyone else out there has ever had it then you know what I'm talking about. I even started having hallucinations at one point because I'm pretty sure my fever was well over 105. Seriously, you could have fried an egg on my forehead. The hallucination was definitely an interesting one too. I had an entire conversation with the tony the tiger about all aspects of my life. And from that conversation I learned one thing, apparently my life is Greeeaaaattt! I'm not completely sure about that, but who can argue with Tony the Tiger. Most of you are probably thinking that this is a load of crap, but its true which makes the whole thing that much more disturbing now that I'm better. Just thought I would share that whole ordeal with everyone and remember...if you ever have hallucinations, NEVER tell Tony the Tiger that frosted flakes are just ok. Seriously, he doesn't take it very well.

My Unemployment

As most of you probably know, I recently graduated from college. Oh and did I mention that I graduated with honors, no big deal. I'm gonna give you all a minute to really soak in the amount of awesomeness that I display...there we go, everybody good on the awesomeness soaking. I hope so because exposure to my level of awesomeness can have the following side effects: Blindness, vomiting, diarrhea, upset stomach, and erectile dysfunction. Just kidding people, you should all know by now that I am not THAT cocky, nor am I so awesome that that I could make people vomit. It's just fun to pretend sometimes, you all know the feeling. So yeah, anyway, I was talking about graduating from school and the return of me to the blogging world. If you didn't notice there might be a connection between those two events and if you read the title of my blog now then you will understand why I have the time to blog again. A 24 year old unemployed college graduate, it's kind of a shame that that is a rather common site these days. Now I know what some of you are thinking, "What about the job you told us about in April?" well that job is still there I am just not getting paid for it yet. That's probably weird for some of you to understand, but to make it in my line of work there has to be sacrifice. And right now I'm sacrificing just little things like having money, food, paying rent, you know...the little things, no big deal. It's not like I need any of those things to survive right...wait....how long can you go without eating before you die? The work is fun though and I'm doing what I want to do, it will just take a little while before we start getting paid is all. The up side to this is that I have some spare time and can share my unemployed adventures with the rest of you. So brace yourselves, cause this could be a long and bumpy ride.....thats what she said. Yeah, I went there...

My Short Break

Ok everybody, I thought I would let you all know that I will be taking a short break from from the blog. It will only be for a couple of weeks so don't get too sad, ha, I'm not even sure if anybody still reads this, oh well. Due to the fact that I am in the middle of finals this and next week and then I am heading out on Wednesday to go back to Ohio for Lindseys graduation and then more finals that week and then I will be taking another trip back home after those for my two weeks of summer vacation. So I have a lot going on and then I have vacation which I hope that I will not be blogging on vacation cause that IS a little sad. So I will be back up and running again probably around the beginning of July.

So until next time everybody, I'm Jason Winnett and thats the way the cookie crumbles...

My Geek Status

Some of you may not realize this so I will try and break it to you as easy as I can.....I...am a Geek. Go ahead and take a moment for that to sink in...I know you all must be just blown away by that statement and I understand if it will take some time for you to come to terms with it, but it is imperative that you understand this fact in order to understand me and why I do some of the things that I do. It will also help you understand why certain things happen to me much of which I have blogged about before...

Having said all of this let me clarify that I am actually a lesser form of geekiness do to the fact that I actually like to socialize, I can kiss a girl without "wetting" myself, and I have never dressed up as Spoc or chewy. Although I do a mean Chewy growl, anyways, that’s not the point. What I'm trying to say is that as far as true geeks go, I am nowhere near that level so rest easy people, I will not get all teary eyed when the ewoks start dying at the end of Star Wars. Ok, so maybe I do a little...seriously, it's like a bunch of giant hamsters getting stepped on by enormous Terminators. You'd get a little sad too. You see, these "True" geeks refer to me as a normal guy with geeky tendencies, but I think I may have gone past that a little when I waited in line for over an hour just to get a copy of Halo 3 at the midnight release. And then proceeded to play the game all the way through until about nine in the morning. I couldn't help it, I was all hopped up on coca-cola and peanut butter M&M's...I know this sounds bad, but it's what I do and lets face it, the geek factor in my life generally leads to a story so it's not all bad.

I know some of you may think that I am underestimating my true geekiness, but I guarantee that you wouldn't think that if you spent just a few minutes with some of the kids at this school. Seriously, I had one kid talk to me for about 20 minutes on why he thought Battlestar Galactica is superior to Babylon V and why he thought that the shows were based on real events...true story. I also overheard some of the kids talking about Yu-Gi-Oh cards for over an hour, that one just straight up hurt, I'm pretty sure that permanently destroyed some of my IQ points...there is no coming back from hearing that conversation. A part of me seriously died that day. So feel lucky everyone that I don't have any Yu-Gi-Oh cards, I have never seen either Battlestar Galactica or Babylon V, and that I have never fantasized about princess Leia...ok, well 2 out of 3 isn't so bad right...

My Apartment Wars

So I went to see the new Terminator movie with a friend a few days ago and it was Awesome!!! What wasn't awesome was what I found when I arrived back home. My other two roommates had a friend over to the apartment and apparently they decided to leave him there by himself for a few minutes, well that was just enough time apparently to mess around in my room. Now I don't know this guy, I had never seen him before that day and didn't even talk to him then so why he decided to start messing with my room is beyond me. He didn't do much, but what he did was pretty weird and could have a lasting effect since it was everywhere. For some reason, he took a cup of sugar and poured it all over my bed, blanket, and even some on my laptop. No idea why this dumbass would do this since, like I said, I had never even met him before. I originally thought that it was one of my other roommates, but they informed me that it was their friend. All of that sugar is also bound to attract some insects to the room which I am not so happy about and even though I vacuumed it doesn't seem to be stopping the bugs really. So for lack of a better phrase...It is on like Donkey Kong and I don't care if my other roommates didn't do it, they brought him to the house and so they shall pay. And I swear if I ever see that other kid again, he will wish that he never f***** with me, that I promise...

Let the War begin...

My Refusal

I ran into a former boss the other day while walking around the mall. Now let me remind everyone that I hated this person and she was the main reason that I quit this job since she was the one who wouldn’t give me the time off to go to my brothers wedding. So yeah, you could say I hated this woman. One of the regrets I had about quitting that job though is that I was so nice about it, I may not have said that I was, but I didn’t want to look like a total wuss. I never thought I would get to wrong that mistake, but low and behold I was given a second chance at being an asshole to this awful woman. So as I walked by her she actually stopped me and started talking to me, something I didn’t quite expect because she hated me as well. Apparently though, she thought that I made a decent employee because she started talking about her new manager job that she had gotten and that she was still looking to hire some new people. She told me that she would give me a supervisor job to start out with and everything. And upon hearing the words, “What do you say” from her I could only think of one response to give her…”You can take that job and”…what comes next people……”and shove it up your ass”. Cliché…yes; childish…of course; but I have never felt so good in a LONG LONG time. As I walked away though I realized that I still wasn’t satisfied and so I proceeded to do something else. This particular thing was just downright rude and it felt fantastic. Once again I won’t go into details because, well…I just shouldn’t, but let’s just say that her and her daughter that was with her had just gotten some ice cream and only one of them got to take theirs’ home. Ok, so there are only a couple different things I could have done here so I’ll just let your mind wonder as to what I did with the ice cream and who I did it to exactly.

I’m an asshole…I know this…and I'm ok with it :)

My Battle with the Sun

For about 4 or 5 months out of the year here in Arizona I am locked into an epic battle that can only be won by time itself. It starts in April and doesn’t cease until September and the fight is generally pretty one sided. My enemy, you might be wondering…Mother Nature, and man is she a real witch with a capital ‘B’. Some of you might not understand what I am talking about and that makes perfect sense knowing that you rarely have to deal with temperatures over 90 ish. Me, on the other hand, I get bitch slapped by these temperatures every day for almost half the year. I try to fight it, but there just isn’t much that I can do, especially when my roommates like to keep turning off the air conditioning. It gets up to 100 degrees by Noon as of late and these dumbasses keep turning off the air. I swear if they keep doing it I will make them pay…oh yes, they will pay…

I’m also convinced that the sun has some sort of personal vendetta against me and my poor pale skin. It's me versus the Sun and most of my players seem to be injured. I’m not sure how this happened, but I got sunburned at the beginning of the past week. Now most of you are probably saying, “Big deal, you always get sunburned easily”, but this is different. I was never outside for more than 30 minutes at a time and generally no more than that a day over the past week. I was burnt on Sunday, but that was gone by Monday morning so it wasn’t that. Yet on Tuesday morning I woke up and was redder than an albinos eye. That’s right…an albinos eye. I thought back over what I did the day before and if I remember correctly it was spent almost entirely inside watching movies and playing games, I was feeling lazy…don’t judge me. So I have no idea how I got so burnt. My face, my arms, my back…it was freakin weird. Have you ever experienced the shock and pain of taking a hot shower when you have a sunburn, it’s not fun. Like I said I was unaware that I was so burnt so I stumbled into the bathroom in the morning to take a shower and right when that water hit me I screamed so loud and freaked out causing me to slip and fall as I tried to shut off the water. Now, not only was I laying on the floor in the shower getting pelted with hot water by the crazy powerful showerhead, but I’m also grabbing my head in pain since it got slammed into the shower door on my way down. Needless to say it was a bad morning and a horrible start to my week off of school. Nothing says vacation like red skin and a gash in the head…only normally that stuff is in some way caused by alcohol. So if anyone is keeping score; it’s Sun: 1 Jason: 0 and we are still in the bottom of the first…